Jason and I had just started trying to have kids. With all the symptoms I was experiencing, we wondered if I was pregnant--food aversions, back pain, nausea, exhaustion. Except they were extreme--as in I thought, "if this is only the beginning of pregnancy, I don't know if I can handle it." The only off color thing though, was the constant thirst. As in "I need a liter of water NOW!!!" And after I drank it all in a matter of minutes, I craved another one. NOW!!!
Finally, one morning I just could not get out of bed. The pregnancy test was negative. Then I threw up. Jason took me to the emergency room and they took me almost right back. My lips had begun sticking to my teeth at this point because I was so dehydrated. They ran tests and gave me an IV. Within an hour I began to feel better. And they came in and told me I had Diabetes.
To begin with, I felt so ashamed. It had to be Type 2 because of my age. I may have weighed a little more than I should, but I tried to eat healthy, whole foods. I rarely drank soft drinks, but I did like dessert and bread fairly regularly. How could I have let this happen? How did I get so fat that I got diabetes? This wasn't supposed to happen to me--not when I preached to others about eating real food, and that fat is not the enemy. I had no family history and every other aspect of my health was great.
But then something crazy happened. They changed the diagnosis. It was Type 1 Diabetes. Wait--how did I get a childhood disease when I'm 29. Turns out I had a lot to learn in a short amount of time. And just like that, I became insulin dependent.
I started with injections--twice daily of long acting insulin, and was told to eat only 45 grams of carbs with every meal. It wasn't until a month later, after seeing an endocrinologist who had it together for treating Type 1's, that I began meal time injections too.
I told the doctors in the hospital that my husband and I were trying to get pregnant at the time. How long would it be until we could get back to that? Whoa, whoa, whoa! they said. Do NOT get pregnant right now. It could be 8 or 12 months or more. You have to be controlled first. You need to wait til we give the go ahead.
Well, we serve a great and powerful God. He is sovereign over diabetes, or cancer, or anything else that comes in our path. He allowed me to have diabetes, and although I don't know the purpose--and may never this side of heaven--I will seek to practice gratitude in all things--even diabetes.
And let me take another minute to brag on what my God can do. Today is October 9th. Tomorrow, just 4 days short of my "Dia-versary," I will be 9 weeks pregnant.
GOD IS AWESOME!
My A1c went from 10.5 at diagnosis to 6.9 now. We were approved for pregnancy at the beginning of September and found out a week later that I was pregnant. When you think you can't--you're right: but God can! This is His doing in my life. Even though I messed up all the time and ate foods that made my sugar spike and made poor decisions and whined and complained, He didn't give up on me. Look at how He loves us! James 1:17 tells us that "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them," we are told in Romans 8:28.
He takes our broken bodies and gives us His strength, and He is glorified! I stand in awe of what He has done in less than a year, and what He is doing, and what He will do. We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10). He is knitting this little baby together in my womb--it is fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139)
So, why am I writing all this? One reason is to glorify God and tell of the great things He is doing! But I also want to give a little information for other Type 1's out there pursing pregnancy. It was very hard for me to find any information on what it was like to be pregnant as a Type 1. Everything I found was just little snippets that ended in healthy babies. I want to document the journey and hopefully be a little resource for others. Right now only my mom reads this blog, but perhaps word will get out and these posts will help someone else facing similar challenges. Anyway, I hope you enjoy sharing in this journey with me.
Joyfully,
Lindsey
You're right. Very informative.
ReplyDeletePraying for you in this journey!
ReplyDelete